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After my post with stories from patients at work, I have have had several people ask for more. I really need to be better at writing down all the funny people I come in contact with. So over the last few days, I started keeping a work journal where I am starting to record stories to entertain you all.

The stories below are all new patients that are interested in getting the lap-band weight loss procedure. As a disclaimer, I hope these stories don't offend anyone. I am just trying to show how much work needs to be done in our communities and schools to educate people on health/nutrition before they get to the point of coming into our office for weight loss surgery.

#1
- Patient: "I am really so confused how I have gotten this big. I don't drink soda, I use olive oil, and I avoid all low fat or fat free products. "
Me: "Why do you avoid all low fat or fat free products?"
Patient: " Because I know when foods say fat free, it means the opposite, its high in fat. The food companies are trying to trick people."
Me: (Honestly, at what point does a 300# women start to think that maybe the food companies are right...)

#2
- Male 5'5", 362#
Me: "Are you currently involved in any exercise program?"
Patient: "I do 10 push ups a day."
Me: (Picturing this in my head wondering if this is really even possible)

#3
- Mom walks in with her 14 year old morbidly obese son. Mom has had every plastic surgery know to man.
Mom: " I don't have time to feed him right, but I want to save him from Diabetes."
(So, basically she would rather her son undergo a major life changing surgery than stop feeding him McDonalds every day. Also a little side note, the kid stole 5 lollipops from the front desk during their visit.)

#4
- Side note: After a patient gets the lap-band procedure, they can no longer drink carbonated beverages (the carbonated gases will expand the new small stomach pouch over time and then it could prolapse over the band= serious problem). Therefore, I always ask patients is they drink alcohol, esp beer.
Me: "How often do you drink carbonated beverages such as soda or beer?"
Patient: "Well, I don't drink soda and I really don't drink a lot of beer."
Me: "What do you consider 'not a lot'.
Patient: "I dont know, would you consider 25 beers every 2 days a lot?"
Me: (I don't know, would you consider yourself an alcoholic!!)

-

6 comments

Sarah Guild said...

OH MY GOSH! I love all your stories. Unreal.

Unknown said...

Yes, I can't believe some of these stories. On a side note, why even have lollipops at your office? Shouldn't you have a bowl of fruit or celery sticks instead?

Jordan & Rebecca said...

Haha yes good point I should have clarified. We actually use another medical group's office 3 nights/week. They stock lollipops in the office and get upset when we move/hide them during our time there. So now we leave them out and get comments from our patients all night long about how rude it is to tempt them.

Kelcie said...

Haha! I love your comment on that last one!

Juliann said...

I love these!! They are so, so funny, and honestly, confusing. Are people really that out-of-touch?? You must have A LOT of self control to not say what you're really thinking. Haha!

Cheyn said...

Becca!

These make my freaking day!

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